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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Zhanjing's LiveJournal:

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    Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
    11:18 pm
    true love dies hard? a very nice song for all in love....
    Dido - "White Flag"

    I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
    I'll tell you that
    But if I didn't say it
    Well, I'd still have felt it
    Where's the sense in that?

    I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
    Or return to where we were

    Well I will go down with this ship
    And I won't put my hands up and surrender
    There will be no white flag above my door
    I'm in love and always will be

    I know I left too much mess
    And destruction to come back again
    And I caused but nothing but trouble
    I understand if you can't talk to me again
    And if you live by the rules of 'It's over'
    Then I'm sure that that makes sense

    Well I will go down with this ship
    And I won't put my hands up and surrender
    There will be no white flag above my door
    I'm in love and always will be

    And when we meet
    As I'm sure we will
    All that was then
    Will be there still
    I'll let it pass
    And hold my tongue
    And you will think
    That I've moved on

    Well I will go down with this ship
    And I won't put my hands up and surrender
    There will be no white flag above my door
    I'm in love and always will be

    Well I will go down with this ship
    And I won't put my hands up and surrender
    There will be no white flag above my door
    I'm in love and always will be

    I will go down with this ship
    And I won't put my hands up and surrender
    There will be no white flag above my door
    I'm in love and always will be

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: Dido - "White Flag"
    Sunday, September 21st, 2003
    12:24 am
    something interesting....
    Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an enligsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
    in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is
    taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
    toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
    we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: Jason Perez - Remedy
    Tuesday, September 16th, 2003
    11:54 pm
    i decided to go..
    bury the past behind me..
    i sense freedom and fresh air..
    a new chapter of my life has just begun..

    Current Mood: optimistic
    11:50 pm
    this song says it all....
    Dreamz FM - Should I Stay
    *Soundtrack of Ch 5 drama series, Chemistry.

    Had a drive,
    Driven by your love
    But when you messed around,
    I lost the drive I found.
    Thought you needed
    Needed someone true
    But you changed your mind
    Or have I failed you?

    Wished you've been careful with my heart
    But you've tore it apart
    And broke an angel's heart
    I guess what's true has an end somehow
    But I am living proof of what love is about

    [Chorus]
    It's hard holding you, loving you, losing you
    It's sad to be true and be fooled by you
    I don't know
    I wanna know
    Should I stay
    Or should I go?

    You played me on,
    Played me like a clown
    But I feel for you
    Even though I'm down
    My heart is heavy
    Heavy like a rock
    But I am so amused,
    You're still in my thoughts

    Repeat chorus 2x

    What's done is done
    And I'll never feel the same
    But we had some good times
    Guess it's sad just the same
    I guess the truth doesn't matter somehow
    But you were living proof of what love is about

    Current Mood: disappointed
    Current Music: Dreamz FM - Should I Stay
    Saturday, September 13th, 2003
    9:49 pm
    i desperately need a change of fortune...
    Maybe i'm being too pessimistic but 130903 has been a really bad day for me. It started this morning when i'm supposed to go on a cycling trip with keen to sentosa using my friend's bike( mine was wrecked in the 'stupid' taxi accident). It turned out my friend's bike was in a 'lousy' condition and totally unsuitable for such a long trip. It screwed up our plans to get to sentosa early to catch the Quicksilver beach volleyball competition as well as to support one of our galfriend whois taking part. When we finally reached sentosa thanks to keen's dad who sent us there, dark clouds started looming. Then this 'dumb' ticket-seller told us the competition's held at Palawan beach instead of Siloso! argghh...made us walked from Palawan to Tanjong( yes it was my bad decision!) before our galfriend called to inform us its the other end of the island, Sunset Bay at Siloso, saving my real unlucky ass. Luckily the competition was quite entertaining with a couple of hot bikini babes goggle at! heh (the only positive thing the entire tdy though)

    Went Chinatown to look at bikes after leaving sentosa before the rain start to pour. Targeted this damn nice racer but the price totally put me off. $3000++ for a bike??? tink anybody will be out of their mind to buy it. i'm still undecided whether i should get a new bike. Sighz. A new car wil be great though! haha Talking abt new car, Lam's parents just purchased a new Mercedes E200 for him! Some ppl are indeed born to be so lucky. And to think i haven't even got my licence yet! Sianz. Went to send him off to Australia last night at Changi airport for the trial RSAF pilot course. If he make it, he will have a very bright future ahead for him. Damn envious now.

    Went for a haircut to try to change my 'lousy' fortune. Wanted to go Supercuts with Alex but realised its too costly for a soldier. Hope a new haircut means a new start. Heh (sound like awaitingblossom recent entry but for a different reason) =)

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: Coldplay - Clocks
    Thursday, September 11th, 2003
    4:52 pm
    Nelly, P. Diddy & Murphy Lee - "Shake Ya Tailfeather"
    Lyrics:
    (nelly/p diddy)
    we do it for fun, we just do it for fun
    dirty EAT, we do it for fun
    Bad Boy (nelly, diddy, murphy lee)
    we do it for fun (this is history baby)
    bend then trucks, we do it for fun
    stack them bucks, we do it for fun
    and the band played on (yea)
    just like (i believe u cool 2 this)
    we do it for fun
    if u see me ma, we do it for fun

    (p diddy)
    bad boys 2- the soundtrack...lets go

    (nelly)
    hey girl
    what your name is
    where u from
    turn around
    who u came with
    is that ur ass or ur momma have a raindeer
    i cant explain it but damn sure glad u came here
    i'm still a sucker for cornrolls, u know i never changed that
    ur body is banging mama, but where ur brains at
    i'm still the same cat when i was young i was running with bad boys
    but now i'm older i hope they saw im running with bad boys
    here come another man
    unlike no other man
    candy coated woah
    switching in every lane
    yall help me- why dont ya please help me
    a thug is we then its ony two G
    i like the cocky bow legged ones
    like white and dominicans
    hispanics and asians
    shake it for nelly son
    manolos ma-no-no's i cant tell
    everybody and their hoochies
    when u do it u do it well

    (braves tomahawk chop done in background of chorus)
    (nelly)
    let me see u take it off
    (p diddy)
    girl go and take it off
    (nelly) we can even do it slow)
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather
    girl, go and take it low
    (nelly)
    we can even do it slow
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather

    (p diddy)
    now real girls get down on the floor
    get that money honey act like u know
    mama i like how u dance
    the way u fit in them pants
    enter the floor (uh) take it low (uh) girl do it agen
    u kno i love that
    now where them girls at
    its diddy, murphy lee and nelly how u love that (shit uh ohhh)
    come on we got another one player
    from new york to the dirty how they loving it player
    baby u impressive lets get
    to know each other
    u the best of the best and
    u got to luv it in the dress, ur the sexyest
    i had to tell her she's a young janet jackson
    live in living color
    look here moma, ur dead wrong
    for havin them pants on
    capri's cut low so when u shake it i see ur thong
    my pockets full of dough shake ur tail feather till the morning
    its bad boy and nelly man somebody better warn them

    (braves tomahawk chop done in background of chorus)
    (nelly)
    let me see u take it off
    (p diddy)
    girl go and take it off
    (nelly) we can even do it slow)
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather
    girl, go and take it low
    (nelly)
    we can even do it slow
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather

    (nelly)
    oh no, i hear them bad boys coming
    cant stop now, gotta continue my runnin
    cuz we go party till them lights come on
    an then my song start thumpin because my mic still on

    (murphy lee)
    Yo, I'm the big booty type
    I like them thick with their mind right (Awe)
    Banging personality conversate when the time right (Naw)
    I'm not hard I've got women to handle that
    They be like he the man when I'm really a Thundercat
    Come on you know the tics connect like Voltron
    Collect so much grass popo thinking we mow lawns
    My gohans don't match that
    But it matches her head wrap and the seats that I got in the lap
    I'm just a juvenile (Wha)
    Because I be about G's
    Keep your women wizzy man they say they have my babies
    I'm young like Tucker like the cash and the money (I'm going to eat my money)
    Man, I'm that damn hungry
    See I'm starving like Marvin girl
    I've got sixteen bars of fire is what I'm starting
    Plus my rats come in packs like Sammy and Dean Martin
    And I got so many keys you'd think I was valet parking

    (braves tomahawk chop done in background of chorus)
    (nelly)
    let me see u take it off
    (p diddy)
    girl go and take it off
    (nelly) we can even do it slow)
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather
    girl, go and take it low
    (nelly)
    we can even do it slow
    (p diddy)
    we can even do it slow
    (nelly)
    take it where u wanna go
    (p diddy)
    take it where u wanna go
    (nelly)
    just take that ass to the floor
    (p diddy)
    pop somethin, move somethin
    shake ya tail feather

    (nelly)
    oh no, i hear them bad boys coming
    cant stop now, gotta continue my runnin
    cuz we go party till them lights come on
    an then my song start thumpin because my mic still on

    Current Mood: crappy
    Current Music: Nelly, P. Diddy & Murphy Lee - "Shake Ya Tailfeather"
    Sunday, August 31st, 2003
    3:02 pm
    little interest or no interest?
    Before we all went to watch S.W.A.T last nite, one of my friend commented dat i haf a very low interest span. His words really caught me off guard. He explained dat i tend to change topics very fast during conversations, can't really focus on something to do and the best example is that i don't like to play RPG games like Final Fantasy X and GTA. My mind kept thinking abt wat he said and i realised that its very true. I always seem to change topic very quickly but it seems so natural for me..isit becos of my low interest span? I think i'm too easily distracted. When a friend talk abt something, my mind will drift away subconsciously and i will start talking abt something else. When i start on playing a certain game or read a book, my interest in them ends very fast and i will find other things to do. Maybe i find life too boring now. I feel very lifeless! arghh..or isit my low interest span?

    Current Mood: numb
    Current Music: Puddle Of Mudd - Control
    Monday, August 25th, 2003
    11:23 pm
    there goes my bike.....
    arrghh! my beloved bike got seriously damaged in a freak accident involving a 'brains in his ass' cyclist n this 'act-like-he-knows-everything' taxi driver! this is a brief description - Ard 3pm tdy, i was cycling home frm training along the Sims Ave Rd when this dumb cyclist appeared out of nowhere cycling against the flow of traffic towards me! the road was quite wet at that time so i couldn't brake in time, thus had no choice but to swerve to my left closer towards the kerb when this reckless taxi driver juz drove out of the side road n i crashed into his cab. The impact threw me off my bike onto the bonnet of the cab! yes i actually flew in mid-air! luckily only my right knee was injured..if i had landed on the road dun tink i can even write this entry..

    This is not the over yet..guess wad..the selfish cyclist juz said its not his fault n cycled off!! The asshole driver then actually demanded i pay for the small dent i created on his cab! wtf man..he should juz go to hell man! he juz keep saying its all my fault n he been thru lotsa situations like this n on n on abt it will only make things worse if i go report this to the police..screw him lah! i'm the freaking victim can! Pay him??? Over my dead body!! i immediately called my parents who supported me n i went to sgh for an x-ray n make a police report. He shld pay for my medical fees n damaged bike man! I swear i will make his life a living hell if he dare to ask me to pay again..freaking piece of monkey crap..arrghh..

    Hai..my poor bike..guess it's beyond repairs already..will be joining uncle_boring to look for a new bike soon..haha maybe a racer this time? this accident really opened up my eyes on how this world works..ppl will 'eat u up' if u can't defend urself well..like how i was almost duped to think its my fault till i realised the bastard was only trying to scare me..its up to the traffic police to decide who's wrong..not dat piece of shit!

    well dun tink i will ride a motorcycle next time liao..its quite scary to tink of the accident..all the what ifs really freak me out..a four-wheeled drive is still the safest!

    Current Mood: pissed off
    Current Music: Justin Timberlake - Senorita
    Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
    11:43 pm
    read this frm a e-mail....
    "Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never
    boastful or proud. Love does not demand it's own way, it's not irritable or
    touchy. So faith , hope and love remain, these three, the greatest of these
    is Love."

    Is this really wat love's about?

    Current Mood: curious
    6:49 pm
    So Far Away
    This is my life
    It's not what it was before
    All these feelings I've shared
    And these dreams
    That I'd never lived before
    Somebody shake me 'cause I
    I must be sleeping

    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    All the struggle we thought was all in vain
    They all finally start to go away
    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    And I feel like I can face the day
    I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed
    To be the person I am today

    These are my words
    That I've never said before
    I think I'm doing okay
    And this smile
    That I've never shown before
    Somebody shake me 'cause I
    I must be sleeping

    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    All the struggle we thought was all in vain
    They all finally start to go away
    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    And I feel like I can face the day
    I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed
    To be the person I am today

    I'm so afraid of waking
    Please don't shake me
    Afraid of waking
    Please dont shake me

    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    All the struggle we thought was all in vain
    They all finally start to go away
    Now that we're here, it's so far away
    And I feel like I can face the day
    I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed
    To be the person I am today

    Current Mood: mellow
    Current Music: Staind - So Far Away
    Sunday, August 10th, 2003
    3:43 pm
    curtain raiser
    finally the community shield between manu n arsenal is here! it signals the starting of the much-anticipated EPL season 03/04! finally 2++ mths without soccer has come to an end..haha

    will be goin to cut my hair before proceeding to toa payoh to play in a soccer wif eejun's church friends..guess the best way to kickoff the soccer season is by playing it! heh

    PS: my bet is on manu tonite...cos i'm a die-hard RED DEVIL!! haha MANU ALL THE WAY!!!

    Current Mood: energetic
    Current Music: Pink - Get the Party started!
    Sunday, August 3rd, 2003
    10:47 pm
    1 more yr to go!
    yes! 365 more days to ORD! haha though its still a long long way to go, at least its sort of a motivation for me..i can already imagine myself goin back to admin office to collect my pink ic wif coloured hair n maybe holes on my left ear? haha

    anyway went to church tdy wif keen for the first time since my jc days..i felt really uneasy at first but gradually got back the uplifting 'feeling' i will experience every chapel on mondays..i dun tink i can be a 100% christian..a free-thinker since young..but i do believe in jesus christ n enjoy singing the songs n listening to interesting stories by the priest..shld go more often if i'm off on sundays..haha

    went for a canoeing gathering at n.y.d.c suntec but was quite a incomplete one..the main character failed to show up! this gathering was meant to be for him before he leaves next fri but he dua all of us...arghh..had quite a gd time catching up wif the rest of the team though..

    ok gtg zzz...hmmm 040804 here i come...hahaha

    Current Mood: satisfied
    Current Music: Bon jovi - Always
    Friday, July 25th, 2003
    11:31 pm
    damn tired...
    went to watch the canoeing nationals at kallang tdy..actually din noe abt it till i rushed all the way down to new SDBA, thinking dat training starts at 10am...thanx to mr keen..haha so i went to catch the race instead..met up wif tommy, baojin n gang, n of course keen n xh..
    ACJC got 4th for both boys n girls..n as expected 'steroids' NJC got swept almost every event up for grabs..guess one cabinet isn't enough for the no. of trophies they won..haha hope next yr someone can break their stranglehold man..they also won the dboat national title again! arghh..they r monopolising everything!

    anyway went town wif keen n soo siong after training and saw Channel U's actresses Apple Hong n Ann Kok doing some scenes at the Orchard mrt underground leading to Tang's..tink Ann Kok is really quite sweet-looking..haha tink they r having some food fair at taka square n saw this eat-all-u-want durian buffet for 1/2hr! this is the first time i ever heard of such a buffet! haha soo siong got all so excited af it..tink he will try to persuade everybody to try it out tml after training..haha

    i'm goin to zzz now liao..half-dead now after tdy's intensive training..especially after doin 24hrs duty yesterday..wonder how long i can take it..hai..really hate my oc man..

    Current Mood: tired
    Current Music: zzzzzzzz
    Saturday, July 19th, 2003
    12:10 am
    it's the weekend but....
    yet goto back back camp tml...sianz..had a 3 days break due to my driving test which iam totally over wif my failure..eagerly looking forward to my next test oredy..heh anyway cycled to training tdy..quite tiring though it was only a short session...tink iam getting weak..tink i beginning to love cycling..treating my bike as my 'lao-po' nowadays..haha

    i finally decided to get a oakley's shade..thanx to much persuasion by fellow teammates..30% discount is too much a temptation to resist..heh ordered the half-jacket black chrome frame wif titanium iridium lenses..looks so cool..can't wait to get my hands on it...heh

    went for a bbq at my aunt's condo at simei..was actually my uncle's small bdae celebration..has been a long time since i interacted wif my cousins n relatives..felt quite gd after dat..a sense of belonging n peace? haha family will always come first for me...=)

    Current Mood: chipper
    Current Music: Train - Calling all angels
    Thursday, July 17th, 2003
    6:44 pm
    hai..i failed...
    yes..no matter how confident n motivated i'm goin to the test. maybe i'm cursed. got the strictest tester of comfort driving centre, my instructor said so. 42 pts n one immediate failure says it all. juz becos i cut slightly into the bus lane while making a left turn..sianz..
    this is surely one of the lowest pt of my life..sighz..

    Current Mood: disappointed
    Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
    2:43 pm
    iam getting paranoid...
    juz came back frm toa payoh..only managed to run 3 rounds, a few pull-ups and some chest exercises as keen needs to go back camp..sianz duno y but no mood to push myself tdy..feel so wasted paying for the entrance fee to the gym! shld haf gone swimming instead..such a nice sunny day for a tan..heh

    tink iam getting quite paranoid over my driving test tml..i haf waited 6 mths for this..too long a time to even tink of failure..always scaring myself dat iam not zai enough n need more practices even though i already went for close to 30 lessons! sometimes i will also dream dat something bad will happen when i am taking my test, resulting in immediate failure!! arghh...tink iam goin nuts..

    ok better go rest now..tonite will be having my last lesson..noo..

    Current Mood: worried
    Current Music: Blur - Out of time
    Tuesday, July 15th, 2003
    10:41 pm
    bored...
    was supposed to go town wif eric but he backed out at the last moment..it was a too rainy day to get out his hse i guess..aniwae was got in the caught while on my way home frm camp..
    hope tml will be a sunny day..will be meeting up wif keen for gym n swim at toa payoh after my driving lesson..

    talking abt my driving..the test is on coming real soon..took leave n off juz for the test..apparently i can't tell anyone the exact timing iam taking my test or else i will fail!! guess iam being too superstitious..haha but better be safe than sorry rite? heh ok gtg zzz..will be a physically draining day tml..

    Current Mood: bored
    Current Music: The Ataris- The boys of summer
    12:19 am
    dun wana try no more...
    (oooo)...don't wanna try don't wanna try (try try)
    (oooo)..don't wanna try no more
    (ooo)..don't wanna try don't wanna try don't wanna try

    [Verse 1]
    i can't believe
    you had the nerve to say the things you said
    they hurt so bad that they ended our relationship
    i can't believe it
    4 years go down the drain
    oh how i wish things would of happened so differently
    i try'd to save it so many times but you still couldn't see
    you kept insistin' and resistin'
    that you would not fall again
    and now your tryin' to tell me that ur sorry
    and your tryin' to come back home
    your tellin' me you really need me crying beggin both knees are on the floor
    but baby i

    [Chorus]
    don't wanna try don't wanna try don't wanna try no more
    you keep insisting when you know our love is out the door
    don't wanna try don't wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
    i hurt you bad to when we both begin to cry
    don't wanna try don't wanna try i 'bout just had enough
    its been a rough road
    baby just let it go
    don't wanna try don't wanna try don't wanna try no more
    tell me whats the use of holdin' on when all we do is hurt our love

    [Verse 2]
    you and i had many conversations on the telephone
    talks about one day we having a place of our own
    wake up in the morning and have breakfast ready on the table
    but all of that just seems so far away from me
    had to wake up face reality
    it all just seem to good to be true
    after all you put me through
    and now you tryin' to tell me that ur sorry
    and your tryin' to come back home
    you tellin' me that you really need me crying beggin both knees are on the floor
    but baby i

    [Chorus]
    don't wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
    you keep insisting when you know our love is out the door
    don't wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
    i hurt you bad to when we both begin to cry
    dont wanna try don't wanna try i bout just had enough its been a rough road
    baby just let it go
    don't wanna try don't wanna try don't wanna try no more
    tell me whats the use of holdin' on when all we do is hurt our love

    [..fading into beat]
    (don't wanna try don't wanna try)
    (don't wanna try no more)
    (don't wanna try don't wanna try..oo)

    (don't wanna try don't wanna try)
    (don't wanna try no more)
    (don't wanna try dont wanna try don't wanna try no more ooo)

    Current Music: Frankie J - Don't want to try
    Sunday, July 13th, 2003
    11:02 pm
    wat does this mean?
    is love a tender thing?
    it is too rough, too rude, too boisterous and it pricks like thorn.......


    if love b rough with you
    be rough with love
    prick love for pricking and you beat love down

    Current Mood: cold
    Friday, July 11th, 2003
    12:31 am
    T3!
    yeah..went to catch the latest blockbuster wif my classmates..it wasn't as nice as i expected it to be but it definitely worth the $$! haha had a class dinner at hereen's marche..was sort of a farewell dinner for lam n yongsheng but they embark on a saf trip to thailand for some exercise tml..was quite fun catching up wif one another ns lives..actually saw actress melody chen wif some guy..oh yah met ming ting too..she looks slightly different..more funky-looking..haha

    the show was hell of a ride..kristanna damn hot man..claire danes looks more mature in the show..haha it's funny and action-packed at the same time..but i shld haf watches T1 and and T2 before watching it..din really follow the storyline..though there's no "i'll be back.." i can foresee T4 in a few yrs time..haha

    anyway i realise dat this is the second class gathering i organized in as many weeks..guess when u r single n wif so much free time..it's best to go for such functions..haha quite fun actually..love to mix ard wif ppl..can't wait to go to uni..13 more mths to go..arghh..better not tink of it..will be down for dboat training tml..better go zzz now..

    Current Mood: cheerful
    Current Music: Simple Plan- I'm addicted to u
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